Gene's Barbecue: Biker's Welcome

A little memory from a trip I took with my parents when my youngest was a baby...

We stopped in Brinkley, Arkansas for lunch. We were sick of fast food, so we found a place called Gene's Barbecue. It looked busy, which was a good sign. The parking lot was full of pickups. My tiny Kia Soectra looked a little out of place.

We walked into the dining room, which was about the size of my kitchen at home. One huge banquet table was filled entirely with men & boys in camouflage. The rest of the diners look pretty normal. As soon as we stepped inside the room went silent. We waited by the door for someone to greet us, seat us, or tell us to go away. None of these things happened, so we just sat down. And waited. And we kept on waiting. The conversations around us were whispered and the other guests kept peeking over at us. I was waiting for the moment when someone would saunter up to our table and say, "We don't too much like strangers 'round these parts." I tried to keep my 4 year old entertained & quiet with the tools at my disposal-- packets of artificial sweetener, ketchup, tabasco, and steak sauce. The baby started fussing and then we got more stares, so I took him out of his seat and held him.

Someone eventually brought us a menu and said they'd be around to take our order soon. We felt encouraged; we had menus! They must be willing to give us food, too. The food sure sounded good. Barbecued pork, fried chicken. Great southern fare.My 4 year old was looking forward to some pancakes and sausage. We waited-- our mouths watering-- for the waitress. She came out of the kitchen and took the order of the diners who came in after us. They were closer to the kitchen. That's probably why she took their order first. Right? And then she commenced to take the orders of everyone who came in after us, walking right past our table in order to do so. We kept saying,"If she doesn't take our order after those guys, let's leave." Finally we just got up and left. And I swear I heard a huge sigh of relief.

As we drove off, my mom pointed to the sign outside. It said "Bikers welcome."

Q & A

The way a mother answers a question:

Kid: "Mom, when was the word quiz invented?"
Mom: "That is a very good question. I don't know. We should go look it up on the Internet."

The way a father answers a question:

Kid: "Dad, when was the word quiz invented?"
Dad: "February 1, 1823. It was invented by George Quiz of Boston, Massachusetts. He was a school teacher. He wanted school to be harder for the kids. Interestingly enough,
he actually did very poorly in school when he was a kid. But he made millions of dollars on his invention & was able to stop teaching school and married a beautiful woman named Poppy, but all of her friends called her 'Pop.' So, for the rest of her life she was known as 'Pop Quiz,' which, incidentally, is where the phrase 'Pop Quiz' came from, which made the Quiz family even wealthier & school even harder for the kids."
Kid: "Wow, Dad, you know everything."
Dad: "I know."

Nebraska, possibilities...endless

All states have slogans they post on signs and literature to hopefully lure people to their state, either as new residents or visitors. But the slogans are too non-specific. In Nebraska the possibilities are endless. I would like to know, before entering the state, some of the things I might expect to happen to me while there. Then I could make a truly informed decision.

Here are some more specific slogans, based on things that actually happened to me in some states I have visited (or lived in):

CALIFORNIA... you could expect to possibly see naked old people on the beach.

UTAH... you might get your credit card and car keys stolen from you by a pedophile.

NEBRASKA... you could possibly gain a couple of pounds.

IOWA... you might accidentally lock your 2-year-old in the car at a rest area.

MISSOURI... you maybe will break your two front teeth in the swimming pool.

INDIANA... you might be asked to dress up as a man for a high school musical.

ILLINOIS... your car could break down on the interstate and you might have to carpool with a drunk lady to a hotel (but in all fairness you might not know she is drunk when you accept the ride).

LOUSIANA... you will experience heartburn.