How to put off something you'll inevitably have to do anyway

Chapter 1

Make a list. Making lists is a great way to put off doing any actual work. Make sure to include items on the list that you enjoy doing and which do not need to be done right away. Also include tasks already previously completed.

Chapter 2

Do the items on the list that you enjoy in order to avoid the more important, less enjoyable tasks. Then cross them off. You'll feel really good and will be ready to procrastinate some more.

Chapter 3

Check your email. Then you might need to clean out your inbox. Then you'll of course need to empty the recycling folder. Then you can find more cleaning tasks to complete on your computer if you think hard enough. What about your internet history? Your pictures? Your Facebook Invitations? There is so much to be done!

Chapter 4

Check to see if the mailman has arrived yet. If he has not, then you can check again at intervals later in order to eat up more time. Even if you happen to know he never comes before 3pm. It doesn't matter. We're dealing with possibilities, not realities.

Chapter 5

Turn on the TV in order to watch the news. But you might also want to clean out some of those shows that have been filling up your DVR. That's kind if like cleaning.

Chapter 6

Play with your kids. They need your attention. Then they might also need you to cuddle with them on the couch for a while. With a bowl of popcorn. And while you're there you might as well watch something on TV or read some stories. Kids are always willing to help you put off work.

Chapter 7

Cross off some of the items on the list that you had already done anyway but put on there so you could feel like you accomplished something when, in fact, you did not.

Chapter 8

Stack your dirty dishes in neat piles. Then it looks like you did something. Sort your laundry into darks, whites, and colors. Shuffle the piles of paper around on your desk. You haven't actually "done" anything, but you'll feel like you did.

Chapter 9

Call someone you've been meaning to call. Especially someone who really likes talking.

Chapter 10

It's getting late and your husband might be home from work any minute now. He might not fall for all your tricks. He knows stacking dishes is not the same thing as washing them. Now is the time to do something. So pick the one job he'd notice first. The rest can wait. After all, you haven't checked the mailbox in at least an hour. Besides, you're tired from all those walks out to the mailbox. Boy, it sure is hard work avoiding work.