Advice Fathers Must Give their Sons...

...when Mom is not listening.

Despite our constant drilling regarding bathroom procedure (shut the door behind you, lift the seat, AIM, flush, wash your hands), boys can't seem to get it straight. Perhaps there is some sabotage going on when we're not in the room.

"You can leave the door open; we're all family. Besides, Mom will shut it for you if she's around anyway."

"Don't worry about the seat; you probably won't pee on it. And if you do, whatever. Mom cleans this toilet every week."

"You don't need to aim; just sort of let it go wherever. Mom will clean it up later."

"Flushing is too much work. Don't worry about it. Mom will flush it later."

"Wash your hands? You want to wash your hands? Washing hands is for sissies! Are you a girl or something?"

And that's not the only topic that's somewhat suspicious. Why do they think it's okay to pee in the shower or wear the same underwear all week? Not from anything their moms told them.

"Oh, no, stay here. See that hole there? Just pee in there & then you won't have to get out of the shower & get all cold."

"Does it LOOK dirty? NO? Then it's not dirty."

I can't think of any other explanation except that boys are genetically programmed to be gross and lazy. And I sure hope that's not it, because I have to believe there is hope for the future.