Opposites Attract

Yes, indeed, they do. Pantyhose and velcro always find each other. Zippers will inevitably seek out lace. They don't know what's good for them. Pantyhose mothers are often heard telling their daughters to find themselves a nice, reliable sock to marry but the daughters can't resist those dangerous, mysterious velcro boys. The red socks always wheedle their way into the washer with a load of nice, clean, innocent white socks. Then, before you know it, a whole generation of white socks is pink. The mesh shorts tend to position themselves next to the skirt wearing a nice hook & eye. Next thing you know they're hooked. And nothing good can come of it. The wool sweater thinks it would be nice to run away to the dryer with her crew neck T-shirt boyfriend when she told her mother she was going to the top of the washer for a nap.

They never learn. Oh, it seems exciting at first. But once they've been married for a while the mystery wears off and they realize they're married to a sweaty sock and that they gave up their looks for that sweaty sock. A warning: opposites tend to want to do opposite things. A pair of pantyhose is bound to be the theater-going type, but velcro really just wants to go see a movie. A skirt wearing a hook & eye is going to end up at church. But mesh shorts don't want anything to do with church. Red socks are notoriously hermits. A social butterfly like the white sock should think twice about a red sock. And their poor pink children.... And don't even get me started about the differences between zippers and lace.