Once Upon a Time

Sometime in August marked the 13-year anniversary of the day I supposedly married David. Or so they tell me. I was very, very sick that day & my memory is foggy. But I remember a white dress & some people shaking my hand. And lots of cameras.



The story of David & Amy.


David loved Jennifer, or so he thought. Until he saw Amy. She was so much prettier. And she didn't live in Springfield like Jennifer. Not only was Amy more conveniently located; she cooked dinner for him. She was definitely marriageable. He could see it: beautiful little children who all looked just like Amy. And delicious dinners when he arrived home from work. So David asked Amy to marry him (after a reasonable trial period). And she did. Unfortunately, she hates to cook. But she did give him some rather nice-looking sons, who, thankfully, do not look exactly like her.



The story of Amy & David.


Amy loved David's blue eyes. But she hated that girlfriend. She would have to go. So Amy got rid of Jennifer by bewitching David with her female trickery. She cooked him dinner (rice-a-roni, or pasta-roni, if she was getting fancy). And of course she cooked him dinner with food he paid for. Then she ate the food, too. And she saw her own grocery bills go down considerably. She saw this was an arrangement that worked to her advantage. Plus he had those blue eyes. So when he said marry me, she did. And they lived happily ever after, at least for 13 years so far anyway.