Sounding Off

So, as you may have learned by now... I don't really like confrontation. And usually when someone expresses an opinion about something that I disagree with, well, I just keep my mouth shut & complain to David about it later & he tells me I need to start standing up for myself, which advice I continue to ignore. But I thought it was about time I sounded off on a few things, to cleanse the system.

To the two ladies I talked to at a shindig for our kids earlier this week...

It's apparent that you hate your children so, yes, for you the best path probably would have been to jet-set about the country until you got the selfishness out of your system, then try to have kids at 40. Hopefully you wouldn't have been able to conceive so late in life and then I wouldn't have to stand here listening to you talk about how awful your children are and how you could have better planned your life so as to minimize the time you had to spend with them.
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To someone who looked over my Disney movie collection a few years ago...

No, I don't think the fact that there are always bad guys in Disney movies somehow makes them bad for children to watch. There is good in this world, but there is also a lot of bad in this world. I think it might be slightly better to expose your kids to bad vs. good first in a Disney format, so they can see how good can overcome, than to protect them from all bad things until you, at some point during their lives, throw them out to the wolves without any kind of warning. And how dare you, when invited into my home, look at the movies I have and commence to announce to the room full of women how they are bad movies? Where are your manners?!
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To nobody in particular, just in case you were wondering...

I don't like garlic salt! I prefer garlic powder!
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To my psychpathic downstairs neighbor from a few years ago...

It's apparent you hate children, but I happen to like them. Especially mine. And I refuse to make him tiptoe around all day just because you happened to move in below me & decided to work a night job delivering newspapers because your job at the vet clinic didn't work out an account of you hating people (her words, not mine). And stop leaving nasty notes on my door every morning. And get rid of those horrible birds. Oh, and by the way, we're moving soon, but I'm not telling you that because I want to torture you a little. I don't want you to know we'll be gone soon. I want you to think we'll be living here forever & my little boy will continue playing with his toys and having fun when you're trying to sleep. Because that's what kids do. At least the happy ones, with parents who love them more than they love psychopathic downstairs neighbors. No offense or anything. It's natural for me to love my child more than someone I hardly know. If it makes you feel better, I love you just as much as anyone could love a psychopathic downstairs neighbor who's tormenting them and lying to apartment managers about them. And, no, I don't have a dog!
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To a lot of you out there...

I think Crocs are ugly & I can't believe you would wear them out in public!
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To my math teacher in sixth grade...

No, I'm not as smart as my brother! NOT my fault!
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To most of my friends & family...

STOP exercising & eating healthy! You're makin' me look bad!
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To a random stranger at Shop N Save many, many years ago, when they first instituded "coupon Thursday"...

Yes, I do think waiting in line for 30 minutes is worth $10. Totally. I just got paid $10 to stand here. Some people pay money to go stand in lines, like at Disneyland. In this case, it's like Disneyland paid US!
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Okay, enough already. Boy, do I feel better.